Shining Through the Darkness: The Power of Being a Light In Hard Times

Have you experienced one of those dark nights when you can’t see anything around you, but you look up and see one star that sparkles and gives light? It shines brighter surrounded by the darkest night. 

During hard seasons, sometimes we need help to navigate the future, a life preserver thrown to us to survive, or maybe a friend to sit with us as we process.  And then other times we get to throw the life preserver to others— which might look like a shining star—where you shine the little light of hope you have to those in darkness.
 
Listen and absorb wisdom as Caroline Schuler, Cru City Staff, shares her personal journey of walking through the unknown in a health challenge.  Her story showcases the profound impact of empathy, hope, and the power of the smallest gestures of love from those around us. A kind word, a surprise treat, or a comforting presence speaks volumes-- saying that we are not alone. 

You don’t have much capacity right now? Even showing up and giving the gift of your presence is one of the most important parts of being a light in the darkness.  

Who is God nudging you to shine toward this season?

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— A ministry of NBS2GO: Neighbor Bible Studies to Go and Cru

Transcript

Jesslyn Adams: 0:06

Hello.

Pam McCune: 0:06

Jesslyn here and Pam welcome to the community where we explore how Jesus is our light.

Jesslyn Adams: 0:13

And we are here to spur each other on to love God and others, right where we live. We are called to shine.

Pam McCune: 0:20

Not only do stars shine brightest when they are closest, but stars shine brightest when it's darkest. Have you experienced one of those nights where it is truly dark? There are no city lights, no moon and all you see is darkness. But you look up and shining bright is one star that sparkles and gives light. It shines brighter surrounded by the darkest night. An African proverb says it well the darker the night, the brighter the star.

Jesslyn Adams: 0:49

When we are in hard seasons, it can feel like darkness all around. Even making the next step can be a challenge when you can't see ahead of you. We all experience hard seasons, from sickness, physically and mentally, to taking care of someone who's going through sickness. Watching your own child struggle can be harder than if it was happening to you, from grieving loss of a job, of a dream, a friendship or even the loss of life here on earth. As we head into the holidays, we might experience challenges and triggers of what has changed and who is missing this holiday season, and we might encounter the question do I even want to celebrate?

Pam McCune: 1:24

or participate. Jesus encouraged us, saying I have come to give you peace In this world. You will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world. He didn't say you're going to have trouble, so get on over it, move past it. He said take heart, which means to have courage. How do we take heart and how do we help others take heart in dark times? As we lean into seasons of darkness, we realize that many of you are in your own dark season right now. We hope we can encourage you to know you are not alone and that God can use something in this podcast to speak directly to you, saying I see you and I care.

Jesslyn Adams: 2:10

I am so glad you said that, Pam. There have been seasons where seeing the needs of others was challenging for me because I personally was battling my own depression and darkness and in those seasons I felt like I was drowning. I was desperate for someone to throw me a life preserver, as I was discouraged and overwhelmed myself.

Pam McCune: 2:27

Just when I look forward to hearing what life preservers were thrown to you and what that looked like. Sometimes we need the life preserver and sometimes we get to throw the life preserver to others, which might look like a shining star where you shine your light of hope to those in darkness.

Jesslyn Adams: 2:45

Brené Brown, known for her research in Wisdom on Empathy, says Empathy is connecting with people so we know we're not alone when we're in struggle. Empathy is a way to connect to the emotion another person is experiencing. It doesn't require that we have the experience, the same situation they are going through. Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting and communicating that incredibly healing message of you're not alone.

Pam McCune: 3:17

As we journey in dark seasons. There is a time to just focus on keeping the oxygen mask on our own face, hanging on to the life preserver and surviving, and sometimes God encourages us as we help others take courage and give the gift of our presence by just showing up. There have been times when God has called me to shine the little light I had for someone else I didn't give advice or share knowledge I might have even actually admitted I didn't know what to say or do which generated connection and brought us closer together. It is amazing how much joy and peace I've experienced when I had a reprieve from my circumstances and entered someone else's challenges. Today we have a guest that is going to bring you joy as you step into her circumstances and hear her heart.

Pam McCune: 4:08

Caroline Shuler is a light in my life. She is a member of the Neighbor Bible Studies to Go team with Crew City. Caroline entered this world 28 years ago, the same year that my son was born, and she has been my encourager, my kindred spirit, as I've struggled with health issues. Caroline and I first bonded in a car right through the North Georgia and North Carolina mountains. She makes me laugh. She's excelled in giving me courage through her listening, connecting and reminding me I am not alone. And the amazing thing is she has done it while struggling in her own health journey as well. The month before she was born, doctors explained to her parents that she had a 25% chance of surviving delivery. She wouldn't be born breathing and likely had a heart defect.

Pam McCune: 4:58

Caroline was born with respiratory issues and smaller in stature than expected. She was a little person. Her first two months she spent on life support, as she was born on February 10th 2010. Her family claimed Ephesians 2:10 for her life, for we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works. They knew God created Caroline for a purpose and they believed he would sustain her. And He has. Caroline. Thank you for joining us on Called to Shine. Thank you, Pam and Jesslyn.

Caroline Schuler: 5:35

it's a joy to be with you.

Jesslyn Adams: 5:36

So glad you're here. I wish our listeners could see your face right now and your wonderful, striking red hair. Caroline, it's been a joy to get to know you and I would love for you to tell us a little bit about your health journey in life.

Caroline Schuler: 5:49

Yeah, so, as Pam said, I being born a little person I stand just at three and a half feet tall and so that's presented different challenges, of course, through different seasons of life, mostly in terms of different bone and joint difficulties that have required countless hours of physical therapy over the years, numerous surgeries to correct different things. Yeah, it's been a journey of just trusting God with the handiwork he made, even though I've not always understood it, maybe not always desired the ways it's materialized, but trusting him and, most recently, a different level of that, seeing him at work, providing through great medical care.

Jesslyn Adams: 6:20

Wow, Caroline, it sounds like you had to trust God immensely. So where have you seen God show up?

Caroline Schuler: 6:26

I've seen God show up one way in particular is just through the people he's provided in my life. I come from such godly parents who have just been heroes in my story, caring for me and helping navigate a medical system that's often tricky, not to mention the people in my life who have discipled me and just been present in a number of different ways. I think of God's people and his word that have kept me going.

Pam McCune: 6:49

I love that, His people and His word. He showed up to be with you. Caroline, help us dive a little deeper into the last two years. What that journey has looked like, what you've experienced. Was there a time that was actually dark during that season?

Caroline Schuler: 7:04

So last May I was set to have cervical spine fusion 10 level. I was told recovery would likely look like being in a brace for probably four months then with rigorous physical therapy after that to fully recover. Level 10 means they were fusing 10 vertebrae together. Okay, so that was in May. Yeah, they knew it would be a long recovery because the fusion starts all the way actually up at my head, so now my head is locked in and then goes down to the middle of my back. They knew it would be several months in a brace, but about seven weeks into the recovery when we noticed that the incision was not healing well, we had to go in for emergency surgery to make sure that there was not a really serious infection or that the hardware did not get infected either. And upon going in for that surgery they were unable to intubate me because of the fusion, the limitations that caused and we had to do an emergency tracheostomy.

Caroline Schuler: 7:58

Trachs are something I was very unfamiliar with but quickly became acquainted with when I woke up with a trache after that surgery. So trachs require a lot of daily maintenance in terms of breathing treatments. Plus they just occupy your airway so it makes breathing really tricky. We began a regimen of caring for the trache, but also. I then jumped into 49 hyperbaric chamber treatments as well, which was new to me. It became so mentally hard to continue to go back day after day because it took about four hours of every day. I felt like that was just life. There wasn't time to do things I enjoyed doing. It was just the routine, day after day and the resetting of expectations when they said originally we'll be doing 20 and then we'll be doing 40, and then it just kept on increasing in time.

Pam McCune: 8:50

Was there a period of time that it felt the darkest?

Caroline Schuler: 8:54

Absolutely, before all of the hyperbaric routine started, there were eight days in the hospital where I was totally had no voice. I was completely mute because of the trick they put in. It was the wrong size. They could give me no guarantee that my voice would come back, so that was definitely a dark season. I can look back now and see it was only eight days but, man, in that time it felt like each day was about a month. It was definitely a dark period.

Pam McCune: 9:19

Caroline, how do you deal with darkness? Were there tears? Were you just quiet and it was just introspection? What were you feeling and how were you dealing with that?

Caroline Schuler: 9:28

Yes, there were a lot of tears in those eight days. I have to admit I felt so bad at the time that it was hard to fully have some big introspective moment of what life's going to look like if things don't change, Because it was really just an hour by hour. I got to do the next treatment, the next nurses coming in and so forth. It was a huge step of surrender to think my life has been in the hands of medical professionals. Nothing's guaranteed and the outcome of the rest of my life could be extremely different than what I've known. So there was tears. There was the reading of God's word. I listened to so much music to reset my mind on him, Even though I couldn't speak. Everything was through text on my phone to communicate to my parents and doctors couldn't have done it without people there.

Jesslyn Adams: 10:08

Caroline, I like that you said people. People are key to helping us experience and God in the darkness and to keep having hope. Pam and I were talking about this before but our friends and different people in our life. It could be really great to have them around and get their input, but I personally know sometimes, when I've tried to help a friend in their darkness or struggling physically like you, or they've had a loss, that I try to fix the sadness. I get a little uncomfortable when there's a lot of sorrow and sadness and I'm like I want people to cheer up and have joy. But I've had a handful of friends tell me Jesselyn, can you not try to fix this? Don't give me the silver lining like you like to do in everything in life. I just want you to listen and be there. So, carolyn, how have people shown you mercy and love that truly resonated with you?

Caroline Schuler: 10:53

What first comes to mind my medical journey in the last 16, 18 months. Supposed to be a certain duration. People were set up to be in touch and be helpful for that time, and then it went on way past anything that people were committed to helping with. When I think about what was most helpful and just most tender for me was when people stayed present, no matter how long the journey went. Life moved on for them. I know it did, but it wasn't moving on for me quite yet. And so when they stayed in touch to say I know this hasn't changed for you, we're not going anywhere.

Pam McCune: 11:24

Did that look like a text, a letter or a phone call? Or was it dropping by and just being beside you, side by side?

Caroline Schuler: 11:32

Oftentimes it was a text message for people that were either close by or not so local. But also it meant so much when friends even set up a little routine or a schedule of coming by once a week. I had a friend that she and I would read the word together once a week before everything began and she kept that up. She said I still want to come over. So she would come, bring her Bible and we'd sit there and read. Another co-worker would say I want to come over and work with you at the house. This was further along, when I was able to spend some time in front of the computer. She would come over once a week and just work with me. For that presence to be there, no matter how long it went. And I think about people who didn't wait for an ask. They either sent a meal, brought something over they thought I might enjoy. They didn't say how can we help, and then wait for a response. They just took the step.

Pam McCune: 12:17

I think food is the language of love it is. It says so much when people show up with a little treat to say a thought of you. Caroline, there's probably so many people that just showed up and loved on you. Now I know everybody's heart has been. They care and they want to lean in. Help carried you through the unknown and the hard times. But even in the midst of that there were some things that were probably done or said that were not helpful. Help us learn from your circumstances. Would you be willing to share with us a few things that didn't feel helpful at the time?

Caroline Schuler: 12:49

Yeah, I know people, of course. Meanwhile, one thing that would continually be said over and over oh you look great, you look like you're doing so good. I thought, oh, you have no idea how much of a fight it is to look halfway decent, and then that would kind of be the common and they would move on. I knew they had no clue of how hard it was. One friend who had been through a similar dark season, but hers was the loss of a spouse, she even said to me. She said you're looking great, but I just want you to know. I know there's a lock going on behind the scenes and that was like oh, she recognizes that it's hard to say yeah, it's nice to know you don't look like you're killing over, but to know that there's a lot going on to get to where you are in, that recognition is so valuable, was to my heart.

Pam McCune: 13:32

There's something about being seen and understood, even if they can't feel. Every feeling that you went through to recognize. The challenges, jesslyn, you mentioned at the beginning, have been seasons where you felt like you were drowning. During that, what was encouraging to you? How did people show up and help you feel seen?

Jesslyn Adams: 13:52

Just hearing and learning that many people have struggled with depression, I thought something was wrong with me. I have a relationship with God, I'm not supposed to struggle. And that's not true. I thought I was not alone. I needed to hear that. It made me feel not so crazy.

Jesslyn Adams: 14:06

I found myself relating to people in the Bible like Elijah for the first time in First Kings 19. Elijah is weary from life and ministry and went into hiding in the wilderness and basically told God I'm all done. I felt like Elijah. He became my best friend for those months and for me practically. I found a trusted counselor and I had a couple good friends that I confided in and asked him to check in on me each week and pray for me.

Jesslyn Adams: 14:32

Also, I remember when I had my second baby boy. He came 21 days early. It was a shock to me I know I shouldn't be so shocked the baby's coming, but it was. I did not know where the car seat was for this child. I was overwhelmed in despair. I had no diapers for this kid. I had no family close by and I remember when I was in the hospital from an emergency C section trying to recover and try to grasp what just happened in the past like 24 hours. My friends came in the hospital room, grabbed my house keys and my dear friends clean my entire house, stocking it with diapers and several meals in my fridge. They rescued me like nobody's business.

Pam McCune: 15:11

We all need friends like that. How encouraging showing up doing some cleaning, getting some food, be it you cook it or be it you go buy it. Those are all gifts we probably have capacity for a different times. Just in the midst of that where there's some things you had to take away of just acknowledging were not helpful. You know similar to Caroline.

Jesslyn Adams: 15:30

People would tell me if I told them I was struggling, they're like it's not that bad. Things aren't that bad, you're going to be okay. Just cheer up Kind of a lack of empathy and truly taking me for my word. When I said I'm not myself, I don't think I'm doing well, that for some reason, really frustrated me because I was trying to reach out for help and I think people kind of minimized it, probably because it's just an awkward situation to get into. When someone's saying I'm really struggling with downward thoughts, I think we all kind of panic. I think I wish somebody would have been like tell me more about that, like what's going on, maybe take a deeper dive. So, Pam, you've heard from us, what about you?

Pam McCune: 16:07

Jesslyn, when I went through my own depression, I had a friend that was so caring and wanted to help. She figured out the answer. She told me "Pam, I've got it. When you feel that way--- Don't. Bottom line it wasn't helpful. I knew her heart. She actually could do that in her own life when she starts to feel something, to grab that thought captive, to send it away. But it was actually a clinical depression. But I loved her heart. I love that she cared. I love that she was willing to get involved with me.

Pam McCune: 16:41

As I have gone through my own dark seasons, I have seen people show up with the gift of their presence. When someone shows up and gives time by just being by my side, it has encouraged me. One day a friend called and said her daughter's engagement had just been called off and she said that her daughter was asking for one thing she wanted to spend time with Miss Pam. She wanted me to remind her of what was true and what was lies from the enemy. But mostly she just wanted my presence as she spilled tears and tried to process what was going on. She wanted me to say I'm here and I love you during one of the rough seasons through parenting and one of my children gave me the chance to be on my knees, much bonding with God, and I found myself in the living room floor pouring out my heart, pouring out my tears, and the next thing I know there had been a gift on my front porch that a friend that knew I wasn't ready to talk but she wanted me to know that she was thinking of me. And she left a gift and it was simply a mug and it spoke volumes. It said I see you and I care, and every day that I got my coffee and I would use that mug, it said she's thinking about me, she's praying for me and I'm not in this alone. I've learned that I can reach out to friends even when I'm going through a hard season, by giving them a mug, give a plant or a candle, a book or a journal, food and if you don't have time to cook, gift cards can speak wonders.

Pam McCune: 18:10

Others had given me the gift of words. Many times it's been in a text to say I love you, but sometimes it's been in those really special handwritten notes where people have taken the time to find that stamp, to sit down and write out a verse of encouragement, a few thoughts of how they're thinking about me and praying for me, but mostly they just said I care. It's hard when people don't know what to say, but I will say that when I had my first two miscarriages before I had any other children, it was tough, as people gave advice which share all kinds of stories with me, to give me hope that if maybe I went through six more miscarriages then I would have three lovely children, or advice on how to get pregnant, and I became a little punchy with some of the advice that people gave. But I soon realized the hardest was when people said nothing at all, as if it never happened. I learned that I would rather someone say the wrong thing with the right heart over saying nothing at all.

Pam McCune: 19:10

Caroline, our stories are from the past, but yours is happening now. Share with us what happened next on your journey.

Caroline Schuler: 19:19

I guess it was about six or seven months later, everything with the hyperbaric had worked enough, at least to where they said we can safely pull the trach out, we won't have to operate again. I remember October. I was so excited I thought finally all the treatments were coming to an end. It was another dark day because they took the trach out and I could not breathe without it and it went right back in and so that just began, another kind of extension of everything exploring medically and fervent prayer of God, have mercy and bring this to some kind of healing. You don't guarantee it, but we're going to pray that it'll come. Through the provision of another local doctor here who operated on my airway several more times, the trach finally was able to be removed successfully just in July.

Pam McCune: 20:01

Wow, that is so exciting. Thank you, Lord! Did the original surgery, the fusion of the 10 vertebra, have success? How has it affected your life? And are there any ways that we can pray for you?

Caroline Schuler: 20:14

The actual fusion had to happen to fancy term is stenosis, but my spinal cord was being really compressed. The pain is greatly reduced. I'm very, very thankful for that, and I will say, though, that the hard part in continuing forward and that will be just a new reality for me is not being able to turn my head, because the fusion goes all the way up, and I have to say it's been a really hard adjustment, especially as my activities then pick back up. I went okay, this is really hard when you can't rotate or turn your head. Think about driving. I got my permit, I know, the day I turned 15, I was like I am getting on the road, I'm driving. So I've been driving, but the car was adapted with pedals and a seat to get me up and everything, but after this recent change, I've added mirrors now that show me like 90 degrees to the left, 90 degrees to the right, since I can't turn. It looked those ways, but I'm so thankful for the independence.

Caroline Schuler: 21:01

Changing the things are not new to me, but this is definitely a new version of that Trying to walk through life, being so short and yet I can't look up. It's tricky. I had to fight the fear. My airway will never be the same. There will be changes if I ever have to have surgery again. It's a kind of a fight. I'm not letting my mind go down that road too far, but also being able to accept what I need to be aware of. So just prayer that God will guard my heart but also keep me from some of those hardest realities, should they ever have to come again. That God would give me the grace to walk through the new normal he's placed in my life.

Pam McCune: 21:33

Now in July, you were able to take a trip to Texas. I know you love traveling. Can you share with us what some of your dreams are for the future?

Caroline Schuler: 21:41

Yeah, Pam, I do love to travel. That's something that really gives me life. I do look forward and I have to say, as soon as the trick was out and I knew the machines would also be left behind soon after I was so eager to put some trip down for ministry specifically. I just love traveling, seeing people come to Christ and seeing God at work in different cultures that are not so familiar to myself. I do dream of how God might continue to incorporate that into my life going forward.

Pam McCune: 22:07

I love your independence and I love God's creativity to give you a mom that's the most nurturing and a dad that's the biggest researcher and fixer. To make Miss Caroline get to have her independence in all the different ways, but to adapt. Pray that she gets to travel, go be a light to the world as God allows her, through physical challenges. And then the other thing I'm praying for you. The desire of your heart is God calls that he will bring you the man of your dreams that gets to walk beside you in life. Audience, feel free to pray with me as well. So, as we see others struggling around us, how would you encourage us to show up for people, to give them the gift of being present?

Caroline Schuler: 22:51

I think I would sit with them in the bay. I know just the other night I pulled out a card was the most significant to me, because I may have either never met this friend or met her once, but her words were "I grieve with you in this season for these reasons. So to acknowledge and recognize how hard it is,

Jesslyn Adams: 23:09

Caroline, that's such great advice. What other things have we not talked about today that you're thinking, oh, I would love for our listeners to know or hear or understand this.

Caroline Schuler: 23:17

If you're willing to go to the person who is in a hard season and to say that, if you want to process with me, just know that I'd love to listen. For someone to say that to me just means the world. I had a friend ask me recently "how are you processing everything? And I thought, oh, she doesn't forget either that it's not all that long in the past.

Pam McCune: 23:34

Thank you, Caroline. What a treasure hearing your heart, hearing with us your story that we can learn from. Thank you for being here. The light of Christ in us shines bright, as when life is darkest for others, our present shows Jesus' compassion like nothing else. Sometimes it seems easier to avoid those in pain, but our commitment to reach out shows genuine love and it can bring incredible hope. And it gives all of us the opportunity to help bring His light to others through their darkness.

Jesslyn Adams: 24:05

And for those of you struggling to see ahead in the darkness right now. We are so sorry. You are not alone. Many in the world today and many in the Bible can relate. God sees you, he will never leave you and he cares for you. I remember when I was struggling to believe that I would ever feel better and experience joy again. I would read scripture and I honestly just felt numb. It's like a head to heart disconnect. So I began to pray a verse in Mark 9-24 saying Lord, I do believe, help my unbelief and over time he restored my belief. Lastly, psalm 3418 brings a lot of comfort. It says the Lord is near to the brokenhearted. He saves those crushed in spirit. That verse brings me comfort in two ways. One, he will meet me in my sadness, and two, he will meet others as well in their trials and disappointments. It's not all up to me, he's got them. God gives all of us the opportunity to help bring His light to others in darkness.

Pam McCune: 25:05

Robert Louis Stevenson, the author and wordsmith, grew up in Scotland. In those days, street lights didn't just come on automatically. People were hired to light, each one individually. One evening, as the lamp lighters did their work, climbing their ladders, lifting the glass lid, lighting the torch, shutting the lid, climbing down and moving on to the next lamp, young Stevenson was enthralled. As dust settled in tonight, one light would be kindled, then another and another. He turned to his parents and said Look, they're punching holes in the darkness. Friends, let's step out together showing mercy and love to those going through dark times and trust God to punch holes in the darkness with the light inside of us.

Jesslyn Adams: 25:54

We have so much more to explore together, so be sure to subscribe to our podcast, and if today has inspired or encouraged you, you can help others find us by taking a moment to give us a review on your favorite podcast streaming site.

Pam McCune: 26:05

And as our thanks for joining us here, we invite you to follow us on Instagram at called2shine. As part of our called2shine Instagram community, you will get encouragement and ideas to help you connect to the people around you.

Jesslyn Adams: 26:19

And, as always, you can find resources to help you shine the light of Jesus at nbs2go. com -- neighbor Bible studies to go. In our next episode-- Stars shine brightest in a cluster. Who can you shine, besides using your gifts, while they use theirs, and you shine bright together?

Pam McCune: 26:36

Thanks for joining us today. We are called to shine.